l dryness and no drive is making me miserable. Been to doctors, but got no answers. What could it be?

I have the same issue. You could be going through early menopause. My doctor told me to get Astroglide which is supposedly less yucky than KY Gelly. If you cannot find it (I did but the expense!! WOW!!!!) Anyhow use it KY and lots before make sure you do lots of and go easy on that. Then use the KY when you are ready. Tell the bf and hopefully if he is a good guy which I presume he is, he should understand and take it slow. It is to be enjoyed to begin with. I still have issues with it. I am over 50 though. I read that menopause can start in the 30's and sometimes even earlier. Get your hormone levels checked through a blood test. They can tell if you are perimenopausal. (Before getting menopause you get peri menopause first. Good Luck